The Most Discussed Claus(e)…


It’s the Claus(e) that incites anger, causes arguments divides families, ends friendships, and caused whole nations to crumble!

I’m talking, of course, about the “Claus(e)” known as Santa. Okay, maybe I was exaggerating- a little- about nations crumbling…

But seriously, post something that uses tongue-in-cheek science to prove Santa doesn’t exist or post a pic that accuses Santa of favoring the rich…

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One that points out parents are lying to their children

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Or one that jokes about Santa being dead

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And people lose their minds.

Upon becoming parents, many of us are faced with the decision… Do we tell our kids there is a Santa or do we not? For some, there’s no question. Santa is a magical part of childhood and it’s something they want their children to experience. They remember the joy of Santa from when they were children. They remember being too excited to sleep, thinking Santa could be in the living room at that moment-leaving presents under the tree, snacking on the milk and cookies left for him. They remember how great all that wonderment was and want their child to experience it.

For others, there’s no question that telling their children a lie is wrong. It’s odd to them to
tell their kids that someone is always watching them and awards them accordingly. If they’re good, he will enter their home-unnoticed-leave presents under the dead tree in the living room and then stuff your socks with candy. (There’s something to be said about putting a spin on things)

Well, the fact of the matter is, those that let their children believe there’s a Santa, they’re not wrong. Those that disagree will get over it. As for those who tell their children that there’s no such thing as Santa, they’re also not wrong. Anyone who disagrees will get over it.

What I’m saying is that neither choice is wrong. One is right for you and the other is wrong for you. Whichever you choose is the right choice! It may be right for you, but it doesn’t make it ‘right’ and vice versa.

Santa or no Santa isn’t one of those things like Pro- Choice vs Pro-Life, or homosexuality, abstinence, etc. Those are black and white issues, Santa, Easter Egg hunts, Christmas Tree, etc, those are gray areas. What I mean is if you’re using the Bible as your benchmark, it doesn’t say “Don’t believe in imaginary characters,” so you must decide how to handle it based on your own beliefs.

“But wait! It is black and white! – Telling your children that there is a Santa is lying!”

I see your point, except, I don’t. Some don’t consider ‘white lies’ to be ‘lying’. There are those who feel it’s okay to say “It’s nice” when a friend asks “How do you like my new home?” even though they think otherwise. Again, not black and white. Surely it’s not wrong to spare someone’s feelings. Or, maybe it is. It’s another one of those things that are interpreted differently.

(Incidentally, there are some that think you should always be honest- regardless of someone’s feelings. My grandmother was honest to a fault. I have seen someone ask “What do you think of my new haircut?” and get “I think it looks like crap.” as a response from her. So…)

If you’re doing what’s right for you and your family, then you’re doing what’s right. However, there are many of you that are handling the Santa debate incorrectly. A couple different ways.

Those who judge others’ choice, those who make remarks like “I decided not to rob my son of his childhood.” Or “I decided to show my child he could always trust me.” or similar-you’re wrong. It is your choice to make for you and your family. It’s not your place to choose for others or to judge the choices of others. Those passive aggressive comments, they’re un-called for and unhelpful. It’s also a defensive remark. There’s no reason to be defensive about your choice. When you are, it comes across as guilt over your decision. In a conversation about it, you can tell people how you do things- even why you made the choice you made- without passing judgement on others.

There’s two things I’ve seen people do that are, in my opinion, very wrong. One on each side of the argument.

If you’re of the “I tell my children that Santa doesn’t exist.” persuasion, it is wrong- on so.
Many. Levels.- to tell OTHER people’s children that Santa doesn’t exist. It’s wrong for you or your children to tell them. It isn’t your place and you should make it clear to your children that it’s not theirs either. That’s forcing your choice on others and
it’s just not right. Period.

Those of the “Believing in Santa is a natural part of childhood” persuasion can take that belief too far. There comes a point when ‘believing in Santa’ moves to ‘going out of your way to keep your child believing in Santa’. It’s no longer a natural part of childhood when you are going out of your way to prove or convince your child that Santa is real. That’little white lie’, at that point, is an outright, bald face lie and no longer an innocent part of childhood! As soon as your child point- blank asks you if Santa exists, it is your duty as a parent to answer him honestly. Sure, you can explain about the real St. Nick. You can explain that Santa lives in the hearts of everyone, but when you go out of your way to keep your child believing in the ‘fantasy’, it’s no longer the innocence of childhood.

Do what’s best for you and yours and respect the rights of others to do theirs.

As for how my husband and I handled “Santa”, we didn’t tell our kids that there was a Santa, but we didn’t tell them Santa didn’t exist either. We didn’t tell them anything- until they asked.

As always, feel free to share

2 thoughts on “The Most Discussed Claus(e)…”

  1. I like your idea of not telling them either way. I can’t get past the lying of telling children Santa is real, but it adds so much to the Christmas season. I don’t have children, nor am I married, but I have thought about this issue. I’ve decided that I like the fairy tale approach. When you read “The Gingerbread Man” to a child, they live in a world where the Gingerbread Man exists. The next day, however, they do not believe the story really happened. It’s still the magic of the story without lying. People can do whatever feels right to them, this is just what feels right to me. It’s NEVER okay to tell another parent’s child that Santa doesn’t exist! That irritates me to no end…
    My step-mother told me that Santa didn’t exist and then told me about Saint Nick, but I was so young that I couldn’t differentiate the two. I thought for years that the Santa of the North Pole had died lol. Somehow that crushed me less than finding out he never existed in the first place…

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    1. People say that when you tell your child about Jesus they won’t believe you if you tell them there is a Santa. I can see what they’re saying – but can’t comment one way or the other because I didn’t grow up in a Christian home. But, I let them believe what they wanted to believe about Santa. Like I said – until they asked. Thanks for the comment. 🙂

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