There was a post on *Clean* Funny Pics about going to college or something or other and different comments ensued underneath – as always. I was reading, screening, and approving comments when I came across this one:
This reminds me of my ex-husband. For years, he had told my daughters that he was saving for their college, and therefore couldn’t give them money for prom dresses, graduation, etc. Then, after his daughter was offered several academic scholarships for colleges, he had his attorney call me to tell me he wasn’t going to help with college because she had scholarships.
A year later, I took all his notes and letters that he had written his daughter saying he was going to help her with college expenses, and I got before a pro-family judge who awarded her “college support payments” from her dad. So, he had to pay monthly college support for 5 years for each child.
He also had told his daughter that she couldn’t join a sorority because he couldn’t afford it, even though we had not even mentioned a sorority to him. So, my daughter decided on her own that she could join a FRATERNITY and she joined an engineering fraternity instead of the sorority; she didn’t disobey, she just made other plans and paid her own way on that.
I have even heard a talking-head attorney on TV reference this ability to get college support after child support ends, so the financial support will continue through a BS degree. There was no time limit attached to the ruling, so my girls had 5 years of support, due to one working co-op as an engineer every other term, and the other having a break in school for a semester due to a move and stress.
It was so worth the stress and cost to get both of my girls their promised college financial support from their father. They paid their own way with scholarships and working to get their MBAs and additional degrees
The lady that wrote this had little hearts in it and had one section (that I removed) that gave the case docket and such for anyone else who wanted to take their ex husbands to court and force them to pay for college for their child. Maybe it’s just me, but I see (read) this as a vindictive act for the wife to stick it to the ex one more time.
I am trying – hard – not to go off on a tangent about why people like this marry in the first place, because I just do not understand harboring this much hate toward someone who you, apparently, once loved and had children with. Granted I do not have an ex-husband, but I do have ex-boyfriends. One in particular that stomped on my heart almost to the point of no return, but I would have no problems or resentment toward him if I saw him right now. -END TANGENT-
Forgetting, for a moment, the fact that courts are doing this and are okay with it, I have to say – this frightens me. The amount of joking and cutting up we do around here, I could easily see myself saying “I can’t pay for that, I’m saving for your college.” You tell a kid you’ll pay for his college, you better add “Unless you get a scholarship” on the end of it. I mean, even if the kid hadn’t gotten a scholarship this would be ridiculous – but the fact they did and he still had to pay for their college? That’s messed up. My dad probably could have paid for me to go to college, but made me get loans to do it. Makes me wonder what could have happened if I’d known I could take him to court and make him pay so I wouldn’t have to get a loan…
The last time I checked parents aren’t required to pay for their child to go to college. Not only that, sometimes we say we’ll do things and just can’t. Now the things we tell our children that we’ll do are binding contracts? You have no idea the number of times I’ve told the kids we’d go do something and then we don’t because of sickness, emergencies, and who knows what else. I’ve been known to say “I know I said we would …[whatever]… but I just don’t feel like it. We’ll have to do something else or do it another time…” As though kids aren’t spoiled enough in general, now if you change your mind and don’t take them for ice cream, they can sue you?
Look, I know there are deadbeat dads out there. I know they’re out there and they should be ashamed for not supporting their children, but there are those that aren’t dead beats and they’re being taken advantage of – and it’s not right. There are men who have committed suicide because they keep getting brought into court for an increase in support. They’re having to get extra jobs and things and some just can’t take it – so they commit suicide.
Again, as I often say, maybe I’ve missed something – but I just fail to see how it’s a great thing that women can force their exes to pay for their children to go to college. Especially when the child got a scholarship.
This goes to show that nothing you say is safe. Can you imagine bringing lawsuits based on conversations with comments dripping in sarcasm? Smith vs Smith – 12 year old Johnny stands up “Yes, your honor, my father told me he’d eat his left shoe if I brought home all A’s on my report card. I got all A’s but he refuses to eat his shoe.”