Because I’m Stupid.


Everyone has bad days, bad weeks even. I suppose bad years, bad times, bad bad bad. I get it. We must endure the bad to appreciate the good, but sometimes – the bad hits all at once and you start to drown in a sea of gloom.

I’m very open. More open than I should be, I suppose. It often gets me hurt and when it does I have only myself to blame. I’m having a hard time right now, though, with very basic human behavior. And in this case, it has caught me quite off guard. People and the way they behave shouldn’t surprise me anymore – but they do. Guess that makes me … stupid. I don’t mean that like I’m a stupid person, but if the human condition and how people can treat other people still shocks me, then I’m ‘stupid’ in that arena.

I’ll tell you a little with what has hit me this past week. Read along if you’d like – if not – that’s fine too.

Earlier in the year I met someone through the page who was going through a hard time in life. I won’t get into who, what or how, I’ll sum it up by saying that this last week I discovered they’d been lying to me for 8 months. How did I find this out you say? Well, with the internet, background checks and information available at ones fingertips – it’s not that hard. It kinda bugged me for … a day – that I’d been “had”, but I got past that pretty quick because truth of the matter is it was about 3 or 4 months ago that stories weren’t lining up and I began to suspect. It wasn’t until I presented that person with the ‘truth’ of what I’d discovered that they then unfriended me on Facebook. Not that I cared, but the point – for me – was that confirmed the fact that the information presented to them was indeed correct. That, though, wasn’t the thing that got me.

I have friends who also got to know this person through me. Friends I’ve had for… well over a year – at least. I felt that since they were my friends and that I was the one who ‘introduced’ this person into their lives – I should share the knowledge I had with them. Once I shared with them the information I had – the person was a fraud – the ‘fraud’ also contacted them and began offering proof that their story was true. Never mind that they’d not offered me this same proof or that they’d unfriended me when I told them what I knew, but that ‘proof’ that they were given was accepted by our mutual friend(s) as truth. This… bothers me.

How can I be so petty? Right? I know. I thought the same thing. I tried not to let it bother me, but all of that compounded by the fact that the ‘proof’ that they accepted was photographs did not sit well with me. I mean, for one – this day and age – a photo as proof means nothing. Not only that, there’s no doubt that these people exist, that was never in question. It’s the life, the ‘story’ they fed that was bull. How a picture proves that all these things had gone on and were going on in their lives is beyond me.

What is even worse is that they’ve known me far longer than this other person and yet believe them over me. That’s saying that they feel I’m a liar. Not that they used those words, but their actions pretty much say it. At least that’s the way I see it. So, I’m having a hard time dealing with the fact that there are people who I thought were friends and it turns out – they may not be. I don’t really know. I’m just confused. I think what it boils down to is that I’m far more loyal to friends than friends are loyal to me. I’ve known this to be true for some time, I don’t really know when I’ll learn.

Then there’s people, friends, putting things on me that I don’t think deserve to be on me. Look, I know people think I’m incapable of admitting when I’m wrong. I’m not thrilled about it, but I’ve acknowledged my mistakes. I do acknowledge my mistakes. What I cannot do is acknowledge a mistake I did not make. Oh, you can put the blame on me if it makes you feel better, whatever – but for me to acknowledge that the blame does indeed lie on me – I have to believe and know that I am the one in the wrong.

So, here’s what I don’t get. Why is it that I am in the wrong when I react to someone who wronged me? (This is along the lines of ‘why do I always have to be the one that does what is right?’ sort of thing) Especially when I usually just ignore it and move on. For instance, case and point, when my best friend in high school started dating the guy that raped me 5 weeks earlier, I ignored it, forgave her and moved on. I have a feeling, though, that had I made it known how bad that hurt me or disgusted me, I would have been accused of not wanting her to be happy. So, I share with a friend that something they did hurt me and I’m hit with “How do you think this makes me feel?!” – I’m very confused by that sort of reply. Mainly because I feel like a jerk for being hurt by something. It becomes me being hurt twice as bad. I suppose this is why I don’t tell people when they ask. It always ends in broken friendships – and why? Because they get upset with me for being hurt by their actions? See… I’m very confused.

This happens with the *Clean* Funny Pics stuff too. For instance, one of the pages that refuse to acknowledge my trademark and change their name had unpublished their page. When they did, that sort of ended ‘talks’ I was having with them. I had offered to share the page, once it was newly named, with the people on *Clean* Funny Pics. That would get them even more likes than they had. I don’t understand why people don’t take me up on that offer, but I find it even harder to understand why it is that I am wrong for asking them to change their name and then offer to help them out when -legally- I could just shut them down… But anyway…

So, on top of all the above mentioned things and some I’ve not mentioned, I get an email from this page that said they had unpublished their page, but “…After lots of prayer and thoughts, have decided to leave this page up. I believe we are serving god by posting clean and funny pictures and its in my good faith the lord will let us keep doing so…”

Aside from the fact that their shift key must not always work, I’m baffled by this response. (Again, I think the reason I get hurt and baffled so much is because I expect far too much from my fellow humans.) What baffles me is how they feel that it’s honoring God to ignore my request(s) to change their page name, honoring God to ignore a trademark registration, honoring God to consciously and knowingly violate the law by keeping the name and ignoring the registration. I don’t know about anyone else, but I have a very different picture of what honoring God looks like. I told them that it was all quite confusing to me and that I was truly saddened that people who profess Christianity can’t work together for a common good forcing one (me) to hire counsel, but when they choose to willfully violate my trademark and ignore the law – I have no other choice.

And again… the response… baffled me.

They said that me saying ‘working together for a common good’ was “irony at it’s finest. If you were willing to work together for a common good, you wouldnt be asking people to change their name…”

Okay, so… Did I miss something? Because I think I must have. Once again fingers are pointed at me and I am the one in the wrong for someone else’s actions. I’m pretty sure I wasn’t the one that used someone else’s name to begin with. Honestly, how hard is it to make a page with a name that someone else isn’t already using? Not to mention the fact that there are 8 other clean pages on Facebook that I work with, who work with me, that prove I am willing and wanting to work together for the common good. I am completely dumbfounded by the hate flung in my direction and fingers pointed at me for trademarking something that was mine to begin with. They think it’s okay and serving God to copy my page name, but my asking them to change it is wrong? This makes no sense to me.

Or the replies from pages I get that state to leave them alone. “Please just don’t report my page and just let me keep posting pictures” Oh, okay. No problem. Let me just throw this trademark certification away. I had one admin, one rather well known admin, who has offered to give me stuff that is already mine (websites and things in the *Clean* Funny Pics name) as long as I let them keep the FB page. One who also asked me to back off because they were ‘expecting’ and didn’t need the stress. Really? Oh, my bad. I didn’t mean to stress you out with my trademark that I was forced to get because you stressed me out over the last year or more. Am I the only one that sees the stupidity and audacity in this?

Guess what though – I’m clearly quite stupid. Know why? …

Because … I ignore the fact my friends have basically thought me a liar. I ignore the fact that my friends have made me feel less a human being for having made my feelings known. I ignore the hypocrites who point fingers at me for things they’re guilty of and I do nothing about the pages that have refused to honor my trademark.

I don’t want to upset anyone, hurt anyone or anger anyone so I just ignore, forgive and move on like nothing is ever wrong.  And that… Well, that makes. me. stupid.

10 thoughts on “Because I’m Stupid.”

  1. I didn’t know things were so bad recently 😦 I’ll be praying for you. People are… strange. Some are great, some can become friends over night. And some can be friends can stab you in the back at any moment. Shelley, I’ve only known you for about 9 months, and you’ve been great. (all you background checks check-out 😉 ) It’s sad you keep going through stuff like this, but I guess it happens when you deal with people. Anyway, if you ever need a proverbial shoulder to cry on, I’m here and there are still plenty of good people who love you. God Bless You.

    Like

  2. I’m sorry for what you’re going through Shelley. You’re right about the fb pages, they are in the wrong. Unfortunately it’s easier to point the finger of blame at someone else rather than accept that you’re (you’re meaning THEM, not actually YOU) wrong. I don’t see why it would be so hard to change the name of a fb page, it’s kind of ridiculous! I’m sorry you feel betrayed by your friends. One of my big pet peeves is not being believed when I’m telling the truth. Relationships take lots of honest communication and forgiveness! Hopefully this whole ordeal passes quickly. Hang in there!

    Like

  3. Every person you mentioned that you felt wronged by just wanted to be loved. Some people need to be loved so desperately that they go about it in a completely wrong way. Meh. Just my thoughts…

    Like

    1. Very true, as I too just want to be loved. The only thing I was getting at was the people who feel wronged by me get that way when I voice my feelings to them and to me, that just doesn’t make sense. Not that I can’t empathize with others, but when someone wrongs you and you express to them how it made you feel only to get “How do you think that makes ME feel?” in reply. It’s like all the times that Facebook has banned me for sharing something someone else said. Doesn’t make sense. Not in my book anyway.

      Like

  4. I’m very sorry to hear this, Shelley.
    I completely understand where you’re coming from. Unfortunately there seems to be a lot of people like that around today (we live in a fallen world, after all).
    Though I don’t know you personally, I have been following *Clean* Funny Pics as well as your personal page ever since early this year, probably even mid or late last year. I have read the stories you have posted, both happy and sad, and know that events like these are not occasional. In saying this, you have become a real inspiration to me. The way you pick yourself up and carry on, going about managing the page and your life…. God bless you 🙂
    I don’t believe in carelessly throwing verses around, so I took care in finding this one: “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” ~ John 16:33
    I’ll be praying for you.

    Alyssa

    Like

    1. P.S. You are not stupid in my eyes, instead you’re quite the opposite.
      I see you as a true and faithful friend.
      And the fact that you don’t want to hurt, upset or anger anyone shows me just what kind of person you are. (I understand your position as well, as this is my stand on arguments, etc. and at times it’s been really hard to keep it up with the way people react to me.) You have a wonderful heart. Don’t ever let anyone tell – or treat you – differently.

      Like

  5. My Shelley, In the time I’ve known you, stupid was not a word that would come to mind to describe you. You are kind and forgiving and generous. Not to mention hilarious. I’m blessed to know you and many others are too. I hope you understand and trust that I will always be a friend that stands by your side. I know right now you don’t trust a lot of friends. But I hope you can trust that. Hold strong Shelley. Have courage to get through this just like you have all the other trials and you well be rewarded.
    “Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point.”
    C. S. Lewis

    Like

  6. Oh Shelley, I don’t know what His timetable is, but I hope that you find some relief before long. I don’t know of anything I could say to lessen your hurt, but I do know that you make a lot of people happy. The fact that you continue despite all the hate that comes back upon you truly shows what an amazing person you are.

    Like

Weigh in on the Debate

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s